Ever wonder why affluent kids struggle in school despite having access to a plethora of resources–including those that only money can buy? We’ve been wondering the same thing. And this article will share what we’ve discovered after working with affluent youth from around the United States.
Challenges Affluent Kids Face in School
It may not make sense at first that many affluent kids struggle academically and emotionally despite having access to the best education, tutors, and resources money can buy.
If you have a child who is struggling despite every advantage, you may be wondering why. Here’s what we’ve found.
Why do affluent kids struggle in school?
While most of us thrive under a little pressure, there’s a specific brand of pressure that comes to bear when substantial wealth is involved. These kids have big shoes to fill, and even with all the resources at their fingertips–getting perfect grades, having perfect manners, and feeling like they have to be a roaring success at everything on their first try (and make it look easy)—can seem daunting.
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These kids feel as if everything they do is tightly controlled. To cope, some kids enter a type of paralysis, where they just can’t accomplish anything and withdraw from family and social life. Others cope by turning to substance abuse or develop mental health issues such as anxiety or depression. Both routes lead to academic and emotional problems that undermine success.
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What are the common challenges faced by wealthy kids in education?
- Work ethic is low. Working hard is a character trait espoused by many successful and wealthy families. Yet, when it comes to their children, the transfer of work ethic often falls short. There is satisfaction and joy in working hard and achieving a goal, but many affluent youth are robbed of this integral life experience when wealth opens every door and smooths every bump in the road.
- Pressure to achieve is too high. We all have expectations of our kids, but bluebloods, in particular, exert more pressure on their youth to excel and sometimes do not accept anything less. In some families, it becomes more about what the parents want for their child rather than what the child wants for himself. This can lead to distancing, withdrawal, and lack of motivation. It is part of the human condition to value and seek autonomy.
- Reliance on external validation. These kids HAVE to be smart. There is no other option. This can cause kids to cheat or to seek external validation of self-worth rather than seeing themselves as inherently valuable regardless of what college they attend or what grades they get. Seeking external validation leads to poor self-esteem, which could spiral into mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
- Overscheduling. In the race to be the best, affluent kids are scheduled down to the minute. Overscheduling creates a sense of pressure with no release valve. Every child needs a safe space to relax and connect with the world around them—to listen to music, observe nature, or just be with their own thoughts. Overscheduling children prevents this type of health introspection and connection.
- Lack of meaningful peer and family relationships. Affluent parents are busy. They often have distant relationships with their children, and children within the same family may compete for favors or attention from hard-to-reach parents.
Why do some wealthy kids have poor academic performance?
In many wealthy families, failing is just not an option. Well-meaning parents swoop in every time to rescue or defend a child, robbing him of his chances to learn through failure.
Refusing to let your child fail also robs him of his motivation to succeed and conveys to the child that you don’t believe he can fight his own battles or stand on his own two feet.
How to Support Kids Struggling in School
We know how much you love your child, and they are worth every effort. Below are some strategies that parents can employ to help a child struggling in school:
- Help your child set realistic and achievable goals. Once they experience success, their confidence will grow.
- Foster open lines of communication–take the time to listen. No judging or criticizing allowed!
- Offer emotional support–let your child know they are loved unconditionally.
- Encouraging healthy study habits: Work with a life coach or executive function coach to help establish effective study systems.
- Support time management skills–help your child use technology to scaffold and build time management skills.
Lastly, spend time with your child and simply enjoy each other’s company. This will go a long way toward helping a child feel connected, and in return, your sphere of influence will widen.
How Pure Life Can Help Affluent Kids Succeed
Pure Life’s Adventure Therapy program is designed to provide rich cultural and outdoor adventures that can only be fully embraced through experiential learning. Run in the lush landscape of Costa Rica, our program fully immerses your child in another world that is equally challenging and fascinating. The true benefit of our program is the lasting change that takes place with the proper motivation, a little challenge, and wonderfully skilled leadership.
Our program produces sustainable results time and time again. These results are achieved through a carefully integrated mix of group and individual therapy, life skills, outdoor adventure activities, and cultural immersion. It’s a one-of-a-kind program that is custom-fit for each individual.
If you’re feeling stuck–we can help. Come join us in Costa Rica–where the true adventure is one of self-discovery. Contact us today to see how our program can fit your needs.
