Your young adult or teen is struggling in some way—maybe they are having a hard time with their mental health, maybe they are struggling to find friends, maybe they are using substances to cope, maybe they are struggling to find their direction in life. It’s challenging, heartbreaking, frustrating, and overwhelming to be the parent of a young adult struggling to flourish.
We strongly advocate for family support for young adults in therapeutic programs. When the whole family gets involved in treatment, the young adult feels supported, the family learns new skills, and everyone benefits from the connections made.
The Unique Challenges Facing Struggling Young Adults
When someone in the family system is struggling, the whole system struggles. A young adult who struggles to get out of bed because of depression symptoms will have an impact on the rest of the family; parents might have shorter fuses with other children because of the stress of managing a struggling child, other children in the family might feel neglected, marriages can feel increased strain, and generally speaking, there might be more tension in the home.
This paints a fairly overwhelming picture, but the good news is that if the whole family system struggles when one individual struggles, the whole family system can rally together to support the individual and ensure the needs of all family members are met.
Whether the young adult or teen in your family is struggling with a mental health concern like anxiety or depression, or they have low self-esteem or self-efficacy, or even substance use disorders, a strong family support system can help them overcome these challenges.
The Role of Family Support in Programs for Struggling Young Adults
There’s an important theory in human development that describes that we are all impacted by the environments in which we grow up, both on a larger scale, like the country and state we live in, and on a smaller scale, like our neighborhoods and families.
All of these environments impact each other and impact individual development. This theory explains why family connections and support are so crucial, especially for teens and young adults. However, many well-meaning families struggle to support their teens and young adults, especially if that individual is struggling with mental health, social issues, self-esteem issues, or substance use disorders.
It’s normal to feel directionless when you have a teen, but even more so when the teen is struggling. Thankfully, through significant research, we know that families can be a protective factor for struggling teens and young adults, especially when the family is equipped with evidence-based practices to support their struggling young adult. One study states that “family support was strongly positively linked to mental health and predicted coping strategies.” For a teen struggling in any way, the positive support of family members can’t be understated.
There are many programs for struggling young adults, but a good program will include training and therapy to provide families with the skills and knowledge to support their teens.
Effective Ways Families Can Help Struggling Young Adults Succeed
We know that family support is crucial for the healthy development of teens and young adults, but what does “family support” actually look like? Don’t worry, we have a few actionable steps you can take to support your teen or young adult.
1. Listen
Yep. Just listen. At first, getting your teen or young adult to talk might be hard. This isn’t because they don’t have anything to say, it’s because they aren’t sure what will happen if they do talk. They are likely wondering, “I want to tell my dad about this situation at school, but I don’t want a lecture or advice. I just want him to hear me.” Or “This scary thing happened with my friends, but I’m afraid if I tell my mom, I’ll get in trouble, and she’ll pull away from me because she’s mad.” Listening means connection. It means you are willing to put your thoughts, opinions, and agenda aside and try to put yourself in your teen’s shoes.
2. Spend Low-Pressure Time Together
We recommend making it a priority to spend individual time with your teen every week, with no agenda, no lesson to teach, and no “goal” to achieve. Just open, no pressure space together. This can be as simple as getting waffles every week before school, browsing through a bookstore, or playing basketball in the driveway.
The crucial part of this time is that you, as the parent, must come into it with no agenda and a very chill vibe, especially at the beginning. Imagine you are like a cat—you’re nearby, cool, casual, comfortable with silence, easygoing, good to do your own thing in the company of your teen. Consistency is key here; your teens will appreciate that you keep showing up even when they are silent throughout the entire experience. Eventually, you might find that out of nowhere, they start telling you information about their lives that you would otherwise never know.
3. Talk About Mental Health Openly
In all likelihood, you have many strategies to manage your mental health as an adult. You may not even realize it, but almost all of us have developed habits that support our ability to function healthily in the world and our relationships. This could be an exercise routine, a weekly coffee date with a friend, a standing golf day, a book club, healthy nutritional goals, a pet you love, etc. It’s important to talk about your strategies for keeping your mental health stable with your kids, as well as times you may have struggled with your mental health and how you coped.
4. Take Care Of Yourself
It’s easy to forget about your well-being when you have a child who is struggling, and it might feel counterintuitive that spending time taking care of yourself will benefit your child. But the truth is that we really can’t pour from an empty cup, and a struggling teen will require a lot of pouring. So your job is to maintain your mental, physical, relational, and emotional health to offer the support your young adult needs.
5. Support Your Young Adult’s Interests
Find out what your young adult enjoys and support them- even if you don’t share their enthusiasm for that particular hobby. If they enjoy a video game, learn about it, and if you are so inclined, learn how to play. If they like a certain band, listen to their music and have it on in the house. Enroll them in classes that match their interests, watch their favorite movies, and show genuine interest in who they are and who they are becoming.
Benefits of Family Involvement in Programs for Struggling Young Adults
You can support the healthy development of your teen or young adult through family programs and education, and you might do so simply to help your child. But there are so many benefits that come from family involvement in programs for struggling young adults. Here are three of the biggest benefits we see with families who engage with the program.
Reduces Chances of Relapse
When the whole family engages in supporting their teen or young adult who is struggling, the family becomes more educated about mental health, coping skills, addiction, and relationships. When the family system can engage in changing behaviors that may have been triggering for the young adult (yelling, controlling, shaming), they are less likely to relapse into risky or problematic behavior after treatment.
Increases Engagement of Young Adults in Treatment
When a young adult sees their family showing up for them in meaningful ways, they are more likely to engage with treatment in a meaningful way. Often, young adults or teens who end up in a treatment program of any kind feel like the black sheep of the family. They wonder if they will ever be able to fit into their family, and if they can be forgiven for poor past behavior. By showing up for them as part of a treatment program, the family can show that there is hope for the young adult to flourish and belong in the family after treatment.
Improves Overall Family Function
While all parents want to be excellent at caring for their teens and young adults, we usually aren’t equipped with all the skills we need to care for our kids in ways that are meaningful to them. Add in complicating factors like mental health struggles, self-esteem issues, or substance use, and you’ll find that you need even more skills (and often advanced skills) to deal with the complexity of your teen. That’s why family treatment programs are so effective- they give the leaders of the family (the parents) the skills they need to help support their young adult’s success.
How Pure Life Adventure Supports Family Involvement for Lasting Change
All parents want their children to grow into happy, successful adults who can take on challenges with confidence. However, few of us ever receive the education, skills training, or support we need to pave the path for our teens and young adults that leads to that success. It’s not your fault— the idea of “effective parenting” is fairly new. That’s why family support programs are so important, especially for teens and young adults who are struggling with mental health, substance use, or self-esteem issues.
We are big believers in the power of familial support, so we’ve created white papers defining how to support young adults and other resources for parents. If your teen or young adult struggles to find their footing as they enter adulthood, you aren’t alone and aren’t to blame. Teens and young adults today lead significantly more complicated lives than any other generation, and it’s our job to help them manage their unique challenges.
With the right support and opportunities for growth, young adults can flourish into adulthood with confidence and courage. Find out if your young adult is a good fit for our holistic program that focuses on increasing self-efficacy, learning new coping skills, developing healthy relationships, and finding identity. We can’t wait to meet your family and hope to be part of your healing journey.
