The transition into adulthood is not an easy one, especially for young adults who face challenges such as depression, anxiety, family conflict, or trauma issues. While it is normal to face hurdles on the road to independence, sometimes young adults can get stranded on this road. This has led to more and more young adults living at home when the natural progression would be to strive for more independence.
Recognizing the Signs of “Failure to Launch”
The phenomenon of young adults living at home who are not on track or making progress on the road to independence is often called “failure to launch.” While failure to launch is not an accurate diagnostic category, the signs and symptoms can be very real. The following are signs that a young adult’s challenges may be interfering with his or her ability to achieve independence:
- Difficulty waking up on time for engagements (i.e. school, work, appointments)
- Procrastination
- Low tolerance for handling stress
- Hesitance in taking responsibility
- Problems holding down a steady job
- No or unclear purpose in life
- Poor academic performance (if enrolled in school)
- Inability to manage money
- Social isolation/difficulties in social settings
- Lack of energy/motivation
- Excessive video game/electronic/internet use
- Inability to live independently, either financially or due to a lack of life skills
- Lack of basic adult skills (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.)
- Difficulties completing major projects
These symptoms, which some people in today’s society refer to as “failure to launch,” may actually be the result of a more serious, underlying problem such as anxiety, depression, family conflict, or trauma. If you suspect that you, a loved one, or a young adult is struggling with independence, it is vital to seek help before the problem(s) escalate.
To help young adults living at home, recognizing a problem, and getting help is the first step to getting back on the path to adulthood and independence. Helping young adults be independent is so important, and although it may not be easy, it is worth the effort.
Why Some Young Adults Struggle with Launching into Adulthood
It may not be surprising that many young adults struggle to launch into adulthood given the increasing complexity and pressures they face from psychological, social, and economic factors.
In 2024, the top three challenges that young adults struggle with are:
Economic Insecurity
The Pew Research Center found that an increasing number of young adults live with their parents due to economic factors such as high student debt, higher cost of living, job market volatility, and the lingering financial effects of the pandemic. In 2023, the student found that “25% of parents provide financial support to their young adult children, and many young adults rely heavily on their parents for emotional and practical support, delaying full independence.”
Social Pressure
Social media use and heightened pressure from family to succeed have led to a rise in depression and anxiety. In a recent study, researchers analyzed data from more than 20,000 college students. They found that young people’s perceptions of their parents’ expectations and criticism have increased over the past 32 years and are linked to an increase in depression and anxiety.
Mental Health Challenges
Far too many young adults are struggling with mental health challenges and are unable to access the help that they need. Mental health conditions are real, common, and treatable.
Tips for Parents with Young Adults Living at Home
If your young adult is living at home and struggling to achieve independence, we know this is a tough position for you and your child. If you are dealing with this type of situation, consider implementing one or more of these practical tips for parents with young adults living at home:
Set Firm Boundaries
It is important to establish boundaries and set limits for your adult child. The following comes from a Pure Life White Paper, The Road to Independence, and is an excellent reminder of how to set good boundaries for your young adult living at home:
- Setting Financial Boundaries: Explain that you will not be indiscriminately spending money and that any money provided will be earned.
- Setting Household Boundaries: Remember, your house, your rules. This may involve setting rules for responsibilities such as laundry, buying groceries, cooking, cleaning, etc.
- Setting Rules for Autonomy: While many young adults are used to being on their own schedules, parents still deserve common courtesy. If your child is living at home, it is perfectly acceptable to ask for a courtesy text if he or she will miss dinner.
Encourage Life Skill Development
As simplistic as this seems, confidence comes from doing. If your child can continue to develop emerging skills or even try his hand at developing new ones, you will see his confidence grow as he learns by doing.
Create Daily Routines
Organizational challenges are fairly frequent among today’s young adults. Use technology to create routines, set reminders, and capture and track goals. Structure daily routines that bring focus and productivity, and your child will experience improved self-worth and motivation.
Get a Change of Scenery
Sometimes, it takes a whole new environment to see the world through different eyes. An adventure therapy program could be just the thing to help your child find mental clarity and develop new life skills. Quality therapy programs often lead to lasting change.
Be Encouraging, Not Critical
This is so much harder than it sounds! Anxiety and frustration can make you feel angry and resentful. You may find yourself being over-critical of your child in your quest to help them. Do all that you can to encourage, not criticize.
Allow for Failure
Failure is a healthy and important part of identity development. Let your child try new things and fail. Your job is not to prevent them from falling but to encourage a growth mindset so that when they fail, they can view failure as instructive, not a proclamation of self-worth.
Helping Young Adults Living at Home Achieve Independence
We listen to those we trust. If you want to help a struggling young adult living at home, you must build a strong relationship built on open communication. This requires patience and encouragement, even though you may be anxious inside. Have faith in your child. With the right support, they have what it takes to succeed.
Get help setting firm boundaries that will help your child experience independence. Work with a life coach to hash out goals with actionable, achievable steps so your child can experience accomplishment along the way.
If you need professional help, such as therapy, life coaching, or specialized programs like the Adventure Therapy programs we offer at Pure Life, don’t be afraid to ask. Reach out to our staff at any time to discuss how we can help your young adult get back on track. You want forward momentum, no matter how small, so if your child is stagnating or backsliding, now is the time to get professional help.
We’re here for you. And we’ve created some amazing resources to help parents just like you. Download our free, twelve-page white paper, The Road to Independence Can Be Rough: It’s Okay to Ask for Help, to find out more about how you can help young adults living at home achieve their independence.
